The Grass Isn’t Always Greener: Freezer Stash Envy

Any parent dealing with low milk supply (or what they worry may be a low milk supply) knows the stab of envy they experience when scrolling through social media and happening upon a ‘freezer stash post’. You know the type of post I mean - a lactating mother is bragging about her huge frozen milk stash, worried about how to get another freezer to fit in the garage and store it all . Freezer stash envy is real. It can feel like the grass is greener for moms who easily make extra milk.

Let me be clear - these freezer stash posts are fine! We all have our own journey and struggles. This post is NOT intended to shame anyone for posting about their freezer stash - whether they are bragging, complaining, or asking for help. 

But I’ve been there - I know how those posts hurt when you’re sitting in the middle of the night, pumping again, desperately hoping to see just an extra 15 ml come out so that you can send enough milk to daycare the next day. It took me a long time after my own lactation struggles ended to be able to look at freezer stash posts and not feel jealousy.

Now that I’m past the stage where my feelings about lactation are so closely wrapped up in my own lactation journey, I have a different perspective. I have spent many hours counseling mothers who are dealing with massive oversupply and hyperlactation and I know the grass isn’t greener. In fact it’s often pretty brown on the other side of the fence.

Hyperlactation, also known as excess milk production, sucks (pun intended). These parents deal with chronic breast pain, recurrent plugs and mastitis, and supply related anxiety. They often have latch issues related to letdown volume. They are even more likely to stop breastfeeding earlier than they had hoped due to all the complications! And they often lack the support of those of us facing low supply because we are understandably envious of the extra milk we think we want.

Even if parents don’t suffer the ill effects of hyperlactation, getting stuck on the ‘frozen milk treadmill’ is no fun. Having to pump, freeze milk so it doesn’t go bad, then rotate the freezer stash to use up the oldest milk fast enough, etc is exhausting too! 

Breastfeeding, chest-feeding, body-feeding, milk expression, and lactation are a lot of work. They are ‘natural’, but that doesn’t mean they are easy. So hats off to every lactating parent out there - those with low supply, those worried about their supply, those with oversupply, and all those in between. 

I no longer feel envy when I see these freezer stash pictures.  Instead I feel empathy for another mother or parent who is working to be the best parent they can be to their child. Nor do I judge mothers who are still at the stage of feeling pain or envy in seeing another parent’s freezer stash. I feel empathy for their journey and their valid feelings as well. 

I am now able to see the joy, struggle, and everything in between in every parent’s journey. It often takes months or even years to process our own journeys and struggles enough to be able to feel real empathy for another person. We never know what another is truly dealing with until we take the time to ask and truly listen. I am so grateful for the parents who allow me a glimpse into their stories - I hope the empathy I feel regardless of your situation shows in every encounter we have together. In the meantime, if you’re struggling with low milk supply, high milk supply, or just have questions about whether you need help with supply, please get in touch! And remember, freezer stashes aren’t always all they’re cracked up to be.